Monday, May 3, 2010

Have contempt for contempt...

I'll come right out and say it...

I like to argue.

No, not really.  
But I've been told that I do.

Actually, I just like to be right....
and coincidentally, since I'm the domestic leader of my home, what I say goes!!
Momma IS always right.

Does this sound familiar?

Oh boy...does this resonate with me!  I don't like to argue.  Really, I don't.  Yet my mouth gets in my way more often then not.  Especially at home.  And with the ones I love the most.
I have to note here that my husband is a patient and very quiet spirit.  
He has to be to put up with me...
and stay!
Praise Jesus, He blessed me with such a man.
Mommy's get tired.  We get burned out.  We carry the weight of the world and every emotion in it on our shoulders.  With work and chores and meals and cleaning and laundry and teaching and raising and baths and discipline and dishes....
So when daddy gets home
"Take the kids.  They're all yours.  I'm taking a bath.  Don't bother me."
"And while you're at it...unload the dish washer, take out the trash, walk the dog and don't even so much as complain about it because if you had had the day I've had..."

Again, I ask, does this sound familiar?

 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
~Ephesians 4:29
So often I totally overlook the day that my husband has had because I'm only focused on the day I'VE had.  And in the moment he comes home, the day that I've had is all that matters in my mind.
That's how being right (being selfish) can land me in an argument.
That's how my totally stressful, overworked day, can turn into crap really quick.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
~Titus 2:3-5

The truth is you may not enjoy arguing per se, but when you just have to get that point across, or cut that ugly glance, or have that last word or boss, that's what you're're stirring an argument.

I'm reading a book and it's theme is so simple, but is so hard for us humans to master in a lot of ways.
"Have contempt for contempt."

con·tempt(per is : 1) the feeling with which a person regards anything considered mean, vile, or worthless; disdain; scorn. 2) the state of being despised; dishonor; disgrace.

This is a challenge.
But I'm inviting you along with me to have contempt for...
attitude, being right, feeling sorry, nagging.
I'm encouraging you to have contempt for...
the contempt our behavior may create in our husbands and children towards us.
It's a two way street you know.
A vicious cycle if we allow it to be.

Because life is a blessing.  Marriage is a rich union ordained by God and you are your husband's partner for life.  There is no greater gift then children and they learn by our actions.
And we honor God when we are living in obedience to Him as well as to our families.

Dear Jesus,
My morning was a relatively peaceful one, Lord.  Thank you for that.  But so many mornings or days or evenings are not.  Dear God, that is of my own doing.  It is of my own indiscretions and my prayer is that no matter the day or what's going on in it, that you will stir my heart with this message, Lord.  Please remind me to have contempt for contempt.  To cling to you in everything.  To be a blessing to my dear husband and precious children.  And no matter the day's emotional climate, to be thankful for ALL that you have allowed me to live out and experience.
I love you.

as well as 
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 Be a blessing today,


momstheword said...

I love what you said here: "So often I totally overlook the day that my husband has had because I'm only focused on the day I'VE had." Truer words were never spoke, lol!

When our eyes are on ourselves it is really hard to keep them on the Lord or on the needs of others. We're only thinking how hard our load is, and not thinking about anybody elses.

Thanks for linking up today and I am following you now, so hopefully you'll get to 100 soon!

MommaMindy said...

Encouraging post. Thank you for your honesty and for revealing what the Lord taught you through this. May you continue to hear and obey His voice! Thanks for the spiritual challenge.

Holly said...

Hubby is working hard right now and it is pretty stressful...that has actually helped me adopt a better attitude about everything...I try to make home pleasant (I am by nature cynical and by no means a pollyana!). I do need to work on this with the kids....neither one sleeps well...and it is getting to me. I need to accept their beautiful gifts and quit looking at it like they are trying to torture me. It is all about the attitude.

How are you not at 100 followers with this beautiful blog...I {heart} your blog...and I have my eye on that dressy tea hostess apron!