Right where He wants Me...

We all go through things in our lives that leave us feeling...

hopeless, lonely, uninspired and hurt.

It's inevitable seeing as we live in a fallen world.

Life doesn't always go OUR way.

It's sucks, I know...but that's just how the cards fall.

As Christians, we can have faith that despite all this, there is a loving God in control.

And He has our best interests in mind.

It's a difficult concept to understand.

It's an even more difficult practice to put into play...

Faith in those really unruly times of life.

We all know faith is easiest displayed when things are going the way we want them to.

Not so much when they're not.

I've been having days like this as of late.

Days where all I want to know is why...

Why am I me?

Why am I Jon's wife?

I'll never question why I'm Emma's mother...

But why, of all the things God has called me to, do they so rarely go according to how I think they should go?

It's has caused me great strife.

I get mad because I feel like a failure.

I'm upset because I don't feel loved {like I want to be loved}.

I feel lost because parenting, no matter how beautiful, is hard.

I lose sleep over things that most people probably don't even care about.

And half of the time I feel like I'm crazy because of all it.

Times like this, due to the noise I create on my own...

I don't hear God.

And to me, He feels a million miles away.

In my deepest time of need.

It's not that He's not there...I just don't hear Him.

More so, I block Him out.

Have you ever read Sarah Young's Jesus Calling?

I haven't, not in it's entirety.  I just got it recently, having heard really great things about it.

It's a little devotional book that reads as if Jesus is speaking directly to you.

The day I bought it was a day I was having a really hard time...with everything.

Do you play games with God?

"I'll do this...if YOU do that?"

"We can play by Your rules, so long as they line up with mine..."

and so on and so on.

Or am I the only one that does this?

So I get this book on this really bad day and immediately I start to bargain.

I challange God.

"God, you know, You seem like you could care less right now that I'm hurting as bad as I am...how about You prove me wrong.  Give me an answer...SOMETHING...to let me know you're still there and you do in fact care!"

I opened to the appropriate date in my new devotional and this is what it read...

This is the day that I have made.  Rejoice and be glad in it.  Begin the day with open hands of faith, ready to receive all that I am pouring into this brief portion of your life.  Be careful not to complain about anything, not even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances.  The best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Me for them.  This act of faith frees you from resentment and frees Me to work My ways into the situation, so that good emerges from it.

To find joy in this day, you must live within its boundaries.  I knew what I was doing when I divided time into twenty-four -hour segments.  I understand human frailty, and I know that you can bear the weight of only one day at a time.  Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past.  There is abundant life in My Presence today.

~Scripture references Psalm 118:24 and Philippians 3:12-14

I said, "Go ahead God...show me whatcha got!"

And then I got sucker punched in the gut...I got the proverbial baseball bat to the head...I hit the brick wall of God.  The truth hurt and I bargained for more than I could handle.

He said, "Okay, you want the truth...here it is!"

He showed me that He is all I need.  Anything else that I'm under the impression of needing is meaningless.  And that means sacrifice on my part.  Laying down my hurt, my indiscretions, my worries at His feet and knowing that Jesus has died for all of it.  When He created this world, He knew about this day in my life...better still, when He hung on that cross, my broken heart on this very day, is what kept Him there.

And the same is true for you and the yuck in your life.

That's pretty uncomfortable isn't it...knowing that all our junk is no match for God Almighty.  In fact, we should even be thankful for our junk...because Jesus has taken care of it all!! What amazing news!

Dear Jesus, forgive me for questioning Your love for me.  Was it not that love that sent You to Calvary?  Lord, teach my heart to rely only on You, expecting not my way, but Your way for it is best.

I praise you that when I ask for truth, You supply it, no matter how difficult it is to hear.  And I thank you that when I challenge your intentions, You force the submission and repentance of my heart.  All out of adoration for me.  

God, no matter my woes, may you be glorified in everything.  Thank you simply for giving me life.

I love you.

Amen

(I'm sharing this as part of Motivate Me Monday over at The Fifth Street Palace.  Check it out!)

Blessings,

 

 

Love...taking it a step further

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I was thinking the other night about the Great Commission.

Jesus says in Matthew 28:19-20, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

I think that’s an interesting command.  One that I know I very often fail at.  To go out into the world, making disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit is no easy task.  It takes not only a heart for God, but a mind, hands, and feet set on Jesus as well.  After all the church (as a whole) and Christians are here on this earth to represent Christ.

So how do we do this? 

The first thing that comes to mind for me is missionaries out in the field.  They are the epitome of “making disciples of all the nations” for they are going to lands far and wide, where danger and adversity like we can’t even imagine face them.  They present the Gospel to ears and hearts that have never once heard about or felt the love of Jesus.  Missionaries are the classic example of the Great Commission.

Who else?

How about pastors?  Both here and abroad, men and women are out there shepherding flocks of believers and unbelievers alike in communities of faith so that more hearts are won for the Kingdom of God. 

Mind you these are but brief descriptions.

But what about you and me; the garbage men, the housewives/ stay-at-home moms, the bank executives the guy at the dry cleaners and so on and so on?  What is our role in the Great Commission?  Seeing as most of us don’t have Masters of Divinities, how are we to go out into the world impacting lives with the love of God?

I’m reminded of my last post concerning loving your enemies and the tough time I had and still have with doing that.  In the comments following that particular writing a certain Scripture was shared.  Here’s what it says.

Romans 2:1-4 : “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”

Or better still, how about Matthew 7: 1-5, which states, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

This tells me that before I can go out and make disciples I have to stop judging.  It’s not my job to judge, it’s my job as a Christ follower to spread the Gospel.  But judging is the very thing that gets in the way so often and people…souls…are lost in the process because we have no concept of what it means not to judge.

I have to note before I go any further that Jesus says at the end of His great commission that He is surely with us always, until the end of age.  This means that regardless of the beefs we have with this person or that person, we have the Holy Spirit leading us in loving behavior…if we allow Him to.  There is so reason, if we let Jesus do in us what He wants, that we should be segregating who we think is deserving of redemption and who isn’t.

But, if we’re honest with ourselves, that’s what we do isn’t it?

We have these rouge congregations out there that quote Scripture for spreading hate instead of love.  We have communities of faith unwelcoming to outsiders.  We have hell, fire and brimstone spewing from the pulpits instead of grace.  We have denominations fighting over this and that in Scripture.  We are a divided church and because of this we have people all over the world left with the impression that Christians are hypocritical, unloving, intolerant, and well…judgmental.  Imagine that.

For every wrong doing, it takes multiple rights to make up for it.  For every extremist Christian group or even just one judging eye, multiple hearts run fleeing for something other than Jesus because we humans have royally messed up the simple message of Christ.

And simple it is…God loved us so much, He came to this world as a mere baby, to live a short life, then die the most gruesome of deaths, only to rise again so that we may have eternal life with Him in heaven. 

How sad that we can’t get that right.

When we speak to a person, believer or not, our every word, action and attitude (know it or not and like it or not) affects that individual for a lifetime.  So it is imperative that we let the Holy Spirit do the talking or else we’ll miss opportunities left and right to bear fruit for the Kingdom of God. 

We have to walk the walk and not just talk the talk.  We have to be the same people everyday, not just the ones we are on Sundays.  We have to live our lives like an open book everywhere we go and not just in buildings we call church.  We must look at people, not as just people, but as souls searching for a place in this life and beyond.  We have to look past sin and stains that mar them and find the part of them that longs to be and can be loved…redeemed.  We have to unabashedly proclaim the name of Jesus.  We have to strive to live Christ-like lives so that what non-believers see isn’t someone out to judge or condemn them, but to wrap their arms around them and love them, just as God would.  People are hurting and if we could set aside our pride and self-righteousness for one second, we might change lives...even our own. 

That’s our role, everyone’s role in fulfilling the Great Commission.

And it starts with less judging. 

Dear Jesus, I judge.  I take the love and grace that you have blessed me with and I’m stingy with it.  May you have mercy on me when it is in my time to sit at your feet and be judged.  I ask that you give me a heart of love and not one of condemnation, Lord and that you convict me in those times that I think I know all too well who is deserving of your grace and who isn’t.  Dear God, I pray that through your Holy Spirit I can look past all people’s indiscretions and simply speak truth into their lives for the sake of their salvation.  Lord, I love you and thank you and praise you that I am your child, along with all my junk.  You are an awesome God.  Amen.

So I leave you with this…

Ephesians 3:16-19

“And I pray that you being rooted and established in love may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge~ that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Be blessed.

Lessons

I was going to blog more about my "Heart of the Problem" journey tonight, but I decided not to.  It's really got me grappling with some things right now.  Stuff that I need to chew on before I spit it out here for the world to see.  But I will write again about what I'm learning and the things God is teaching me through this book.  There is certainly more to come on this topic, I assure you.

Having said that....

Though I'm not going to write about my heart of the problem, I am going to stay along the same lines and write about lessons.  As I'm in the midst of learning several lessons of my own right now.

I think it's safe to say that the lessons we learn in life shape who we are as individuals.  Whether they have brought joy or pain, we always walk away with a tad more wisdom then we did before the lesson was learned.  And because of my faith, I can also safely say that these lessons, in shaping who we are with wisdom for future opportunities, both joyful and painful are just another example of how God works in our lives.  It shows just how good God is to involve Himself in the details of our lives.

I'm fascinated almost daily, hourly at what He is teaching me through my daughter.  To watch and interact with her connects me to my Lord in ways that I can't even describe.  It's cyclical in ways~ being with her teaches me about motherhood as Christ would have me mother and in turn it brings me closer in worship with my Father out of shear joy that He has blessed me with the opportunity to be her parent.  Emma and I shared a tomato today.  We just sat in the floor and took turns taking bites.  I know that special moment was a lesson.  I can say now that the lesson is to always cherish the small things, but in time I think even greater wisdom can be gleaned from such a simple opportunity.

Every person I come into contact with, both old friends and new, are divinely placed so that I may learn something or share something to be learned or both.  You just never know how God is going to use the people around us or even use ourselves for the good of others.  I can look around me and know from the bottom of my heart that God has placed the people in my life for a reason.  And that is a refreshing feeling.

Lessons come in the form of smiles, helpful strangers, insightful words, and even a song that we've heard millions of times, but touches us right at the exact moment we need it.  That's God meeting us where we are.

And then...

Sometimes bad things happen.  Things that break our hearts and leave us wondering if we will ever recover, but Jesus knows.  He knows us to our depths and He knows what will come of it all as well.  In the midst of these uncertainties, we can be certain of Him and His love.  If we rely on Him then He will bring the peace to our hearts that we so long for.  We may not understand or even learn immediately, but Jesus is patient and we can find hope in knowing that even in trying times, God will use it for His glory.  That is a difficult lesson, but a beautiful one as well.

And I could go on and on and on....

In writing this I'm realizing even more lessons God is teaching me through calling me to express these thoughts.  Lessons lie within lessons. It's an ongoing and ever evolving process. 

But my point is I believe there is a reason, a divinely orchestrated plan for why and how everything happens.  God loves our details and He is a full-on participant in trying to help us be better at who we are.  Despite how big and mighty and Holy He is, because of Jesus we can confidently go before our God and soak in all He has for us as His children if we look around and pay attention.

That's a pretty remarkable lesson if you ask me.

Heart of the Problem and a little something extra...

I've often wondered why so many Christians lack joy in their lives.

I think, in fact, this is the million dollar question for both Christians and non-Christians alike.  If we as believers have the joy that is Christ living within us, then why are we, on average, a pretty unhappy people?

Now, I say this and I must note that not ALL Christians are joy-less.  I have plenty of friends that I look at and all I see is Jesus.  They radiate Him through their lives and their attitudes.  This is a beautiful thing to witness and indeed how it should be.  So again, why and how are some of us missing that?

Let's take myself as an example.  I love God with my whole heart.  I want my life to exhibit Him in every way.  But I'll have to admit, I feel it rarely does.  Would I consider myself an unhappy person?  Not entirely, but I certainly don't feel as if I possess an inexplicable joy.  Or lets take just any random person who tries in all ways to be closer to God, they persevere in trying to be the person, parent and spouse God would want them to be, you'll find them walking in the Word, praying daily if not hourly, yet they still feel worthless, trapped, unloved and forgotten.  I know these people too.

I just recently started a Bible study called "The Heart of the Problem" by Henry Brandt and Kerry Skinner and while some may look to this study to help them walk through addictions, loss, etc., I decided to allow it to walk me through my complacency; complacency in life, in my marriage, and in my walk with Jesus.

Before going any further, I have to pay particular attention to the fact that I am being blatantly honest here.  Raw and vulnerable are probably better suited for what I'm laying out on the table, but it is my hope that by using this as a means to be accountable, so too I will rediscover life as God would have me experience it.

So in my venture to shed light on my own "Heart of the Problem" I'm only through day five and I barely feel as if I can keep up.  In depth with Scripture, I'm tossed about reminded verse after verse that the heart of my problem and ultimately the reason for my lack of joy is my very own hang-ups and sin.  I really didn't need a book to tell me this, though it's a helpful guide, it's in black and white all over God's Word.

Through my study in these preliminary days I've found that I'm not happy because I leave little at the foot of the cross.  I commit few things to Christ's hands.  And I relent almost never to the command of my Savior that He may handle even my smallest affairs.  And this is not only my problem, but this is my sin as well.  I look around me and I see all too well how I have allowed life and all the logistics of it to get the best of me, focusing less and less on Jesus.  Which, looking back on my verse for the week it all makes sense…2 Corinthians 11:3 (New International Version) ~ ³But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

As much as I would like to think this hasn't happened to me, the unfortunate truth is I have let the world get to me with all it's stress and anxiousness, the expectations and constant "you, you, you" messages and I tend to forget the simplicity and splendor that Christ has conquered all of this by dying on the cross.  WOW!  That's a tough pill to swallow.

It's not about me, it's about Him.  There is no need to be anxious; Jesus has already dealt with it.  No stress is too big or small to lay at His feet.  And the only thing that should be constant is my rest in Christ.

And I could go on and on.  But I'll stop here not only because this isn't an exegetical analysis, but instead my personal thoughts and because I fully intend to share my journey with this study as time goes on.  These posts can be found under the category "Heart of the Problem".  Hopefully, as it inspires me in my relationship with Jesus, I will pray it will do no less for you.

 

Now on a completely different topic…Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home is celebrating her 2-year Blogiversary so hop on over there and send her some congrats!  She's also hosting a give-a-way in celebration!  Make sure you share her link with others and spread the love!  Her blog is great and she is awesome at what she does!  Check her out HERE!