Monday, June 28, 2010

Long Time...No Blog...and a dash of real honesty.

It's been 28 days since I last blogged.  And I've missed it.  I've missed you guys handful of readers.

Life has been crazy to say the very least.  And with all the busyness and stuff going on, my brain has been left void of things to write about.

Do you ever have seasons like that?  Where you just have nothing to say?

I talked with a friend today and she quoted a book she's been said, "you know that Christ has overtaken your heart when you can just keep your mouth shut."

I found that to be an interesting observation.  And one that really resonated with me in my life...right now...but also how it really summed up what's been going on with me and this blog for the last few weeks.

Though I haven't had much anything to write about, I've still been thinking about it right often.  There were mornings that I would wake up with full intentions to write about SOMETHING (no matter how trivial), but somehow during the course of that day, I would decide not to.  On those days, I ended up feeling as if I shouldn't write just ANYTHING.

So then I started to pray.

At first my prayers started out that God would give me words.  That He would spark inspiration in my heart.  That He would probe every last inch of my brain and pull from it an exquisite round of prose.
But soon, my prayers became less "my prayers" and more of His direction.

Direction in where HE would have me go (or not go) with this outlet of creative expression.

I've been convicted for sometime about how much time I spend on the computer.  It has been one of those things that has pulled me away from my family more than I care to admit.  And though Facebook and Twitter were somewhere in the mix, the bulk of my time was dedicated to this blog, its ratings, comments, followers, advertising, etc, etc, etc.  It's amazing, looking back, how many countless hours silly stuff like that took away from my days.

And as I would read other women's blog posts about their conviction in computer time/ blog time, I would feel their pain.  Yet I would end up right back where I left front of the screen planning my next witty/ spiritual/ deep/ creative post.

I would see multiple, on the minute (it seemed), twitter postings from other bloggers and I would make myself feel better about "how little" time I spent on the computer in light of their constant updates.

I would sit and tell myself how this is a job for some women...which may very well be what God has called THEM to, but it was just a hobby for me so the time I spent was way less then what it would be were I expecting to bring in an actual income.

And then I would rationalize that I was speaking truth into people's lives so surely posting EVERYDAY was what I was supposed to do.

But let's face it....

None of that is true.  I spent the amount of time I did on this computer and this blog because I wanted to.

I'll even go as far to say...

This blog became MY IDOL.

And please, to those of you who have blogs out there and are reading this thinking I'm judging you...know that I am not.  I can't vouch for where your heart and calling are in your blogs.  I can only do that with and for mine.  And right now, the way I have been operating this whole deal is not what God wants for my life at this moment.  That simply, is the purpose of this post...not to condemn anyone else for the joys and/or successes they have in blogging.

So in these last 28 days God has been showing me what His purpose for me is in terms of this blog...and I've just been taking the time to honestly reflect on it and let it all soak in.

It's been sad.  But it's been empowering as well.

I feel enlightened knowing that God does give me what I'm supposed to write about, but now those words will adhere to His timetable and not mine.

A weight has been lifted in that I don't feel like I absolutely HAVE to post something so I don't lose readers.

And I take joy in the fact that as much as my husband loves reading my blog and my children one day will, my time is better spent with them right now...and they love that even more then what I have to say on this here website.

So what does all this mean?

Well, it doesn't mean I'm going to stop blogging all together.

It simply means my priorities have changed.  And I will post when I feel called.  That might look like twice a week and that might look like twice a month.  It's not up to me anymore =).

You'll also notice there isn't any extra "stuff" on my sidebars.  Nothing to track visitors.  No ads.  As much as I adore my awards and thank you for all of them, they are gone, too.  No more twitter, which honestly, I never really liked anyway.  Basically, nothing to distract me.

I'm giving this blog to Jesus.
And hopefully, I'll know he has invaded this space when I can just keep my mouth shut.

Blessings (and thanks for readings!),

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Hubby and I were talking about prayer this morning.

Well, actually, we were talking about leadership and prayer.

Leadership is his thing...prayer is mine.

We both have equal amounts of passion for our desired topic, but I also think we lack understanding in why the other subject is so near to our spouse's heart.  Jon has definite thoughts, opinions and views of Scriptural leadership that I just don't get.  He can find it in ANY verse of the Bible.  I, on the other hand, have an entirely different perspective on prayer (and grace) than Jon does, and I can find THAT in ANY verse in the Bible.

It's where our differences bring us together and hopefully grow us in our faith with one another.


this post is for Jon, my beloved.

Honey, prayer to me is...
An act of love.  
One that brings you closer to not only your Heavenly Father, but to those around you.  It is something that strengthens marriages.  It bonds family ties.
It mends indiscretions.
It heals wounds and it pieces together broken hearts.
It creates in us an ability to be vulnerable and let our guards come down.
It is a time when we can pray on someone's behalf, but also when we can humble ourselves to God's mighty grace and love so we can experience intercession in our lives from others as well.
It's about communication...but even more so it's about surrender.
It's a matter of the heart.
It's personal, yet it's communal.  It can be enjoyed by one and by the masses...separately and at the same
Prayer is God's gift to us.  To show us He is there and active in our lives.
Prayer is our gift to God.  To show Him that we are listening.
No one prayer is of more or less importance then another.  For they are all honest petitions placed at Christ's feet, for Him to meet in His will and His way.
Prayers are heard.
They are felt.
They are experienced.
And they are answered...
though not necessarily on our terms, but always with our best interest in mind.

And Jon, I'm blessed to call you my partner in prayer.  It is my honor to pray with and for you and our family.
I love you.

And while I'm at it...

Would you leave me a comment to let me know how I can be praying for you today?

Blessings friends,