Thursday, January 8, 2009


I love a great love story- who doesn't right?

I'll read a book or watch a movie and get so caught up with the characters adoration for one another; I'll wonder if that sort of love is even possible in real life. I'll compare it to my relationship with my husband and sometimes I'll be thankful for what I have...and sometimes I won't. How dangerous it is to live vicariously through fictional love- it can get your mind and heart into a lot of trouble.

This has been something I've been thinking about for a while, so it came as no surprise to me I was able to relate it to this past Sunday's sermon (even though it had little or nothing to do with the topic in my brain).

Preacher was talking about how everything changes when Jesus comes to town. And he kept shouting, "GOOD NEWS!" after every point or story. The foundation of his sermon was rooted in John chapter 5 where the woman with the bleeding disorder had so much faith that she simply touched Jesus' robe so as to be healed. His point of the story was to show, not only the significance of cultural times and what it meant to a bleeding female, or the magnitude of her faith and what it took to actually reach out and touch Jesus, but more importantly the events that led up to her coming to this paticular gathering in order to be healed. Word had spread rampant and Jesus was in town- things were happening, changing---GOOD NEWS!!! He spoke of revival breaking out in our current day because people had faith and Jesus was allowed to work!

That made me think of my own personal love story.

For far too long, I have coveted the marriages of my friends and even those with in the book/movie realm. Instead of focusing on the issue at hand and trying to illustrate love in my own life, I would, well daydream and then brood.

But, in a manner of speaking, I had kicked Jesus out of my marital town. I wanted to handle it on my own, I could handle it on my own, or so I thought. And how ridiculous was that because I wasn't handling it, I was wishing my husband were more like Joe Schmoe on TV- HAH!

Anyway, as I sat there in church, I realized that if left to my own devices, I would be the bleeding woman, suffering for years if I allowed this to continue. I had to have enough faith that ONLY Jesus could create in me a new love for my husband. ONLY Jesus could grow the passion in me that I had lost for my husband. ONLY Jesus could allow me to see Himself through my husband's eyes. But I had to give in and relinquish all control. Despite my flaws and total undeserving self, I had to fall to my knees and reach out to touch His robe.

On a deeper level, I knew too, that if I didn't make Jesus MY one true love, my knight in shining armor, my sun and air, then I would never be able to find the sort of earthly love I so longed for. He has blessed me with my husband and I should consider him a gift, but he is still human. Yet still, ONLY Jesus can fulfil my every need, but He is gracious and loving enough to have provided me with my husband on this side of heaven.

As I thought about these things, I held Jon's hand (nothing out of the ordinary). But instead of feeling just the palm of his hand against mine, I felt a man. My man, made in Christ's image. A good man, with a heart and feelings and needs. I traced the veins on his arm with my opposite hand, brushing his arm hair as I did it. I looked down and noticed definition in his muscle even though his arm was relaxed. My heart began to rush. I looked up at his face, him intent on the sermon, and admired his jawline, strong. I appreciated his eyes, tender.

Jesus was falling me in love with Jon all over again, right there, in the middle of church!

After that, I felt giddy.

And from that moment I made a vow to myself... As human as I am and as much effort it is going to take, I must let Jesus be the focus and foundation of my marriage, but first and foremost my life. And as I continue to do that, I can have the love story I want. Each day I have to look at Jon as a precious present from the heart of God and then treat him as so.

My goal is to ask myself each day- What is one thing that will make Jon happy today? And then do it! Afterall, this is his love story, too.


gina said...

I love this post so much. Words I needed to hear and need to put into action with my own dear husband. Asking Christ to help your love grow - to see our spouse anew. Doing the daily little gift of happiness - Every marriage could use this wisdom. Thank you.

Kelli said...

Thanks, Gina! Talk about a revelation! I'm glad it was what you needed and I pray your faith and daily gifts bring new light into your marriage!