Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Who Am I?

We've been talking a lot in church lately about our identity.
My husband and I talked about it this morning.
Where we find our identity.  What roles play in determining our identity?  What we see as defining our identity?
My Lenten devotional readings have also touched on identity in the last few days.
So, like with every trend or repeated message in my life, right now I feel Jesus is trying to tell me something.

About my identity.

Mark 14: 50-52~  "And they all left him and fled. And a young man followed him, with nothing but a linen cloth about his body. And they seized him, but he left the linen cloth and ran away naked."

This passage is referring to what happened after Jesus was "taken into custody" before He was lead to the cross.  It tells of how even his closest followers left His side when push came to shove.  And it speaks of a boy, who had nothing but a linen cloth to cover himself with, ran away leaving his only possession in fear he might be judged right alongside of Christ.  He would rather be naked then to be associated with Jesus because he knew he would then be at the mercy of the Sanhedrin as well.  Guilty by association sort of thing.

Boy, does this speak to me...along with everything else that's been thrown my way as of late.

And honestly, what I'm hearing is...

I am that boy.

That's a hard thing to say.  But it's true.  When the going gets tough, I get going...and all too often in the wrong direction.  Away from Jesus.  And I do it in spite of myself...I know if I would TURN to Jesus and let Him work me out, all would be fine in His time.  But instead, I'd rather run around like a flailing naked idiot thinking I can figure it all out on my own.  So dumb.

When I'm pushed to be a testament, I don't testify.  I keep my mouth closed.
When my girl's little eyes and ears are learning Jesus through me, I don't let Him shine in my life.
When my love for my husband and for God could be expressed gently and submissively (oooh, I know, bad word) instead I get attitude.
When things don't go my way, instead of going to Jesus in prayer for a change of heart, I go to pout.
When Jesus is lead away to his death, that He died for me, I turn my head...and run.

Because it's just too hard to be seen with Him.
It's too hard to BE love.

That's who I am.  That's the real, human, dirty flesh that I am.

If I were honest with myself, I would say that my identity in all fouled up.  That I don't know who I am apart from my sin.  And who even cares what my identity looks like, because it's ugly and raw and mean?
But that's the beauty of Jesus.  And His love.  And His pain on the way to the cross.  His death.  Then His resurrection.

He lived and died so we could be made anew, though Him.  So that we would have meaning and hope in the dark shadows of  our hurt and sin.  So that we could have life.  Jesus sees our potential.  He sees the real state of our hearts.  And despite everything...

He sees our identity in Himself.

Our identity is in Jesus.

Oh, Glory be...how extraordinary is that!?!

We have a God that, right here and right now, in the midst of our human fallibility, says we are something!  We are forces to be reckoned with because He has fought the good fight for us...AND WON!
He thinks we are beautiful and worthy of all good and glorious things.  
He thinks we are worthy of Him!

Even though we still have tendencies to be "that boy"...

Absolutely amazing I say.

So I encourage you...just as Jesus has encouraged me...to ask yourselves...

Who are you?
Who are you to your spouse?
To your children?
To your neighbors?
Who are you to Jesus?

I think your answers will surprise you and even more so, I think God will surprise you.


1 comment:

Kim & Dave said...

I am shouting AMEN!!! Can you hear me? Thank-you so much for this reminder!