Saturday, February 21, 2009

Raw (Long)

I heard a song the other day on the radio.......

Beautiful by Bethany Dillon

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I
cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory


You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

It really got me thinking.....

I'm getting older. I dye my hair to cover the greys. I recently cut my hair to feel more trendy and not so mom-y. I wear make-up to cover PMS acne and blotchy skin. My skin is dry and flakey. I still have a pooch from where I haven't lost all my baby weight. My thighs touch when I walk. I've been told I could afford to tone up- you know for my health. All I hear is I'm not attractive in my new post baby body. My nose is crooked from breaking it years ago. My teeth are starting to shift from years of not wearing my retainer. I also have coffee stains. Crows feet are developing around my eyes. I have to wax my lip.

Who in the world would think THIS was pretty?

With all these flaws and make-up to boot, nothing makes up for the fact that I'm....

A sinner. I'm filthy and dirty. I'm raw. I'm scarred and marred. Broken and emotional. I'm covered with envy. I procrastinate. I have a sharp tongue. I get angry. I stay angry. I'm resentful and can be unappreciative. I whine. I complain. I long for what I don't have. I'm impatient. I'm controlling, too. I cut hateful looks and I make assumptions. I'm never to blame and I accept no fault. I'm hasty. And I'm judgemental.

I'm human.

Who in the world would love THIS?

JESUS would.

No matter how rotten and disappointing I am. No matter how undeserving and even ungrateful I am. No matter with or without make-up and with all my worldly stains, my God loves me. I am His child and I am beautiful in His eyes even if I'm not beautiful even to myself or the rest of the world.

He loves me.

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